Saturday, February 28, 2009

Grandpa Tim

The other day Arianna and I met up with some friends at the play area at the mall, and had fun playing. There were like a billion other kids there - it was pretty crazy. Of course I found myself watching everyone, as I am prone to doing (I noticed Arianna doing the same thing - she totally takes after me in this regard). The majority of the people there were mothers with their children, but there were also quite a few grandparents obviously enjoying a special day with their grandchildren.
I began to think, as I often do, of Dad, and what an awesome grandpa he would be to Arianna. There I was standing in the middle of all of that chaos, cherishing moments I was seeing between some random grandpa's and their lucky grandkids...noticing how one grandpa tenderly removed his grandson's jacket, and brought him into the play area, and how he watched him closely from a few feet away, ready to swoop in to help if help was needed. Complete strangers, yet I felt like walking up to that grandpa and giving him a hug, and thanking him for the love and care he was sharing with his little grandson...and telling him to treasure this time they have together.
It's not just missing Dad, I guess -- it's also missing my grandpa's. Dad's dad died when I was only 2, and Mom's dad died when I was 10, and I've really missed that special grandpa influence in my life. (I've honestly contemplated asking some certain awesome elderly grandpa-type men I know if maybe they would be willing to be my surrogate grandpa's. Pretty pathetic, I know...) It saddens me to know that Arianna has to miss that grandpa-ness in her life, too (though she does still have her awesome Grandpa Palmer).
I can remember many, many times when Dad would reminisce about his dad, getting all emotional and telling me how much he wished I could have known him, and how much he would have loved me. Now I totally know what he was feeling at those times. I wish so much that Arianna could know Dad, and have his amazing influence in her life, and feel his love for her. Seriously, he would be the most amazing grandpa ever (right along with Jeremy's dad, of course)!
Anyway, sorry for rambling so much... Those were just some of the thoughts and feelings that were going through me during those brief moments in the chaotic play area at the mall, while watching complete strangers...

We don't have a lot pictures of Dad scanned into the computer yet, but here are a couple...

I always get choked up when I look at this picture.
It so clearly brings back the feeling of that moment, and
how much fun Dad and I always had together.
Arianna and Dad would have such fun being silly together!

This is the closest their earthly existences came to crossing.

And now that I've got myself all emotional, I suppose this is enough for one entry.


The Mero Family said...

I only met him a few times, but your dad was a great man with such a fun spirit!

Will Thomas said...

Thank you for this post! It's great to see pictures of Tim. My wife & I were just talking the other day about our trip out to Michigan for his funeral. Both of my Grandpas have passed on as well and I'm so glad for the memories I have with them. It really is bittersweet.

I don't have too many pictures of Tim, but I'll email what I do have.

It's great to see you blogging again and I'm enjoying Jeremy's music on your blog.

Springer and/or Tyson (probably Springer) said...

That's beautiful. I miss him a ton, too. I find that I want to talk about him during pretty much every gospel conversation, because he inspired me so. <3

WesnKt said...

I can totally relate to your post. I often find myself thinking of my mother & wishing that she were around to play & love & live with my 3 little ones. I wish she were around to watch me give birth and answer my millions of questions about being a mother. I also miss my grandfather like crazy. He passed away a month before Zoe's birth. He was an incredible person & one of my very best friends. I just want you to know that I love you & I can certainly relate to the pain & loss that come with losing a parent and grandparent. I look forward to an eternity of love & laughter with them in the future!
I miss you.

Carrie Dillard said...

Wow! Thank you for sharing all of your deep thoughts with us! I had tears streaming down my face as I read on. I can relate a little to your story in different ways. My dad's father passed away before I was born so I never knew him, and my mom's dad passed away suddenly of a heart attach when I was pregnant with Jade. And I can not help but remember all the happy memories I have about growing up with him and how he never got to see his great grand daughter grow up like he was able to see me grow up. Our oldest, was not even two when he passed and there were times I would see grandpa in his face and just be brought to tears over missing him, I never got to say goodbye-due to it being a sudden death, and I SO miss him. There are times like this very moment where the tears and memories hurt, but as you say I think we need to grieve and remeber so we don't forget the legacy of those we love! Thank you again for the post-you are brave to share will pray that the healing continues to take place and that you never forget-and as you share your father with your daughter that she will know him through you!